TO SEEK AND BE FOUND

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College is weird, man. And beautiful. These are the thoughts I have all the time. I have made some of the best friends I've ever had in college, and so far I think I can say it has been the most emotional and most wonderful part of my short 19.5 years of life. People talk about college being the "limbo period" between your childhood and adult life, which I have discovered is probably why us college kids are renowned for being the "crazies" the "wanderlusty ones" or even the dreamers... we have so much life ahead of us. Humans run successfully on hope for what is ahead of them. This is the beautiful fear I ponder almost daily... but I think that's a blog post for another day.

A little over a week ago, I rang in the new year in a freezing parking garage with many of these lovely friends of mine. After this first (very cold) hour of 2015, we proceeded to board two charter buses to Nashville, Tennessee. We were journeying to the SEEK conference to join 10,000 other brothers and sisters in the Lord, and a journey it was indeed....

I knew that this conference was going to be overwhelming and most likely different than what I expected (most things in life are) so I tried my very best to go into it with an open mind. It's usually best not to go into things expecting your heart to be changed.. our Jesus comes to us in mysterious ways. 

So much happened over the course of this six day trip, and I'm still experiencing graces sinking in. I am a firm believer in the fact that sometimes the most beautiful graces we experience can't really be put into words. I felt this in several moments throughout, but especially when I was singing to the King of Kings with 10,000 other people who were falling in love with His heart too. This conference really opened my eyes to how incredibly big our God is. I discovered how often I go to Him with the simplest, humanest of my desires and don't acknowledge the fact that He's the one who put those desires there in the first place. He knows my heart infinitely better than I do, and I need not be afraid when I am resting in His heart. 

from a love of my own comfort,
from a fear of having nothing,
from a life of worldly passions,

deliver me, oh God...

from a need to be understood,
and from a need to be accepted,
from a fear of being lonely,

deliver me, oh God...

When I taste your goodness, I shall not want.
— Audrey Assad

Now that it's January 10th and I'm sitting at home looking like a chipmunk with 3-day-old holes in my gums (wisdom teeth are everyone's best friend, am I right?) I can't help but feel connected to my savior in my suffering, and be thankful for the places He's brought me and the people He's brought to me especially in the recent past. God has come to me through these people, and it makes me very content thinking about the adventures He has soon to take me on to more of them. We are nothing but ourselves, but we are His beloved and He loves us infinitely here. When we seek Him, we open our hearts to Him finding us.